I did not post anything yesterday because, honestly, I was feeling too low. I felt trapped by the fact the only way I can get away from my (darling) daughters is to have someone (usually Abe or my mom) do me the favor of watching them. I mean, I love spending time with them and I would not want to ever HAVE to leave my children to go to work, but sometimes the around-the-clock mommy thing gets a little tiring. Happily, Abe and my mom are always, always happy to help in any way. The result is I can actually get away almost anytime I want or need, but still…I hate having to be so dependent. I intensely dislike having to be the recipient of service.
Also, Mary is almost one and I am still at least (depending on how you calculate) twenty pounds overweight. (This despite the fact I have gone MONTHS at a time without a single sugary treat, worked out multiple times a week–many weeks–on very few hours of sleep, and I cook relatively healthy food with equally relative regularity. Is life super unfair or what?)
To top it all off, yesterday I finished reading The Reluctant Fundamentalist. By the closing sentences, wherein the reader is left with a sense of impending doom offset by only the faintest of hope glimmers, I was done. Not only does my emotional landscape look bleak, but the world is a wreck too. Where’s my bed?
Thankfully, Abe gave me a blessing this morning. It literally felt like someone extended a hand and brought me out of the dark into the light. When he started pronouncing the blessing, I was practically catatonic, but by the end (it was the looooongest blessing I have EVER had in my life), I felt full of light and thankful for my life. I had a great day, and every time I did an internal scan to see how my heart was feeling, I came to the same conclusion: I felt happy!
Since I was so stressed out yesterday, I kind of lost my mind and cooked meat for the first time in two years. (I have a weakness for lamb.) I also made plum/apple/thyme turnovers because I am crazy. Mary basically cried any time I put her down, and if you know how puff pastry works, you know that to make these suckers I had to put her down. I repeat, I am/the process of making these was crazy.
In case you’re interested in making a prettier version of these, I got the recipe for these here:
When I thought Mary’s crying was going to drive me out of my mind, I said a quick prayer for help. Seconds later Lydia went over to Mary and said, “Here, sweetheart. Do you want to play with these toys?” And she calmed Mary down. It was a small miracle.
Abe came home and wrestled with the girls outside. I was too busy moping inside to join them, but watching this through the window made me feel at least one small twinge of happiness.
So enough whining about yesterday! Today Misty called to tell me she was going to Costco and kindly invited me to come. She even waited an extra hour so Mary could wake up and come too (even though I am sure this compromised Sophia’s nap). Did I mention how much I love Misty? Also, she completed a sprint triathlon this weekend, and it feels to me like she JUST gave birth to little Max. (She placed 4th in her age group.) I told you she was cool.
Here are Lydia and Sophia goofing around in Costco.
Here is Mary having a bad hair day at Costco.
After Costco, I pumped Mary full of Tylenol and put her down for a nap. It worked. My awesome visiting teacher, Erika Bowen, came over with her two kids, and Mary slept through the entire visit. I should have taken pictures because Erika’s kids are a.dor.a.ble., but I was having so much fun chatting with Erika that I completely forgot.
When Erika left, Lydia and I stayed on the front lawn and raced each other (at times, I sat on the stoop and convinced Lydia to race, um, the clock) until Mary woke up. At which time, I fed Mary dinner #1. Then I cooked our real dinner, fed everyone again, and hightailed it to DSW for some stuff I need for my Martha Stewart trip this weekend. (I know. I am ridiculous for complaining about anything ever at all. My life is actually perfect and I am just a whiner.)
- We match! Abe said Mary should have worn ALL black, though. She was waaaay too sad today to be wearing yellow, although she loves the camera and mustered a smile for it in spite of herself.
Here is Mary trying to pretend that she was happy all day. Here is me having a bad hair day.
Okay, okay. I know how I complained about how unfair it is that I am still 20 lbs overweight, but maybe it’s not that unfair. On the left you will see some pumpkin chocolate chip cookies I made today, and on the right you will see some chocolate cookies Erika brought me. At this moment, wherein I am full of cookies, I truly intend to give the rest away. We’ll see what happens tomorrow.
Abe took this while I was out shopping tonight.
He also took this one; I assume he took it because he thinks it’s funny that Lydia cuddles with her books at night?
And in case she gets too lonely, this is her emergency stash. (Actually, we just have not thought of a better place to store our library books.)